Where is the hickey?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
