I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
