Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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