i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
