You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
