really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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