I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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