can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
