I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
