so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
