Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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