I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
