my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
