David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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