He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
