Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
