I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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