At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
