Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
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St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
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I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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