I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
