went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We need to rekindle our bromance
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.