This is not my ceiling
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself