2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Everything about him screamed your future.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You made out with two different species that night
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize