You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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