They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
