I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
