His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
