we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my being single is dangerous.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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