All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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