fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
