...so i touched it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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