U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
