The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
