i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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