Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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