Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
