I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize