her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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