1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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