I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
