its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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