Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
