she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize