More tranny stories later!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i wish my penis had a tongue
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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