I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
