Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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