Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
