She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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