its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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