I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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