i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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