It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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