so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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