Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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