Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
