So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
